After my mother's death, there were so many things that I realized I needed to know. My dad was at this point a sick man with diabetes and Congestive Heart Failure. I became his caretaker until school started in the Fall. I had a full ride to The University of Tennessee, but plans quickly changed. I realized I would need to stay closer to home, so I enrolled at UT Martin. Still about an hour from my dad, it was a burden I carried with me through my days at school. Nonetheless, I was an honor student during my time there. After a year away from home, I had to come to terms with the fact that my life would never be a fairy tale. I may never get to fulfill my potential. Dad's health was ailing and without me there, he was living in absolutely horrendous conditions.
I guess nothing in my life up until that point had prepared me for reality. Teachers had always doted on me, saying that I could do anything. I felt like a failure, to them and myself. Poverty had its grips on me from birth, and it wasn't letting go without a fight. Still, I refused to turn my back on my dad. He became my focus, and I went to work. It reminds me of an old song from my childhood, "Rich man goes to college, and a poor boy goes to work." Throughout this time, I felt a lot like I was wasting my life away waiting...but I didn't even know what I was waiting for. I made a lot of mistakes, which was something that as a poor, independent yound person, there wasn't much room for.
The three greatest blessings of my life came during the years that followed. First, my loving husband, then my beautiful son, and to round out our little family, a beautiful baby girl. If not for them, I would not have had the motivation or the courage to stand up and be counted--to reach my potential. During my pregnancy with my daughter, I enrolled in school at a nearby school, continued to work full-time, and made straight A's. I am currently enrolled in nursing school, and I have big plans for my life!
I guess the point of this blog is that life is not fair, you are never given a fair hand, and it's all about what you make of it. I would like to share my journey--my successes, my failures. I would also like to use this blog to look back on my past and try my best to learn from it. The main thing I have learned through my experience is that there is no time to sit and wait for your life to change, you have to get up and try to change it!
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